I hate my mother! she keeps on nagging to me almost everyday, orders me around the house to do this and that! aarrgghh.. I hate her! suuppeerr haate her!! if only I can change my mother.  today I asked her permission to allow me to join my friends in their overnight outing in the beach. I pleaded desperately saying I will do anything that she will tell me to do so, saying that  I will be a vveeerryyy good girl. but her answer? “no.” just a plain ^&&(&*&^ NOO!! see? she’s  the worst! she’s insensitive. argh!

and  guess what she did after that, after she rejected my ever generous and desperate plea; she ordered me to clean the  whole house, look after my younger brother and stay at home for the weekend!! NNOO!! SHE CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!! tomorrow is Saturday and that’s the day me and my friends agreed to be at the beach to have fun. oh I can’t wait to see them. I will show them my sexy red bikini I bought with the money mama gave me to buy her medicine. Oh common, she have enough for the week at home what would a couple of penny make? and yes, Chris will be there too! Oh MY GOSH!! I can’t wait to see his expression when he sees me walking with my bikini. I’m sure he’ll be stunned and will fall in love with me. and he will be mine! hahahhaha…. girls from school will be very jealous of me for the hottest soccer player at school is now mine and only mine. 

*phone rings* 

“yes, hello?.. Oh cathy! sure I’ll be there…. and yes I’m all set, just pick me up tomorrow at 9am in my house, okay? bye!”

THIS IS IT!! hahahha. I’m gonna have fun tomorrow and no one can stop me. mom came home after a while and as usual she was nagging. blah blah blah. whatever! I’m tired of all her do’s and dont’s. its not like she was not a teenager once. and God she’s ordering me to wash the clothes tomorrow, but no, I WILL NOT! 

my mother has just left the house and now I’m free to go! YEY!! 

“ate, where are you going? didn’t mama said you should stay at home?”

“I’m going out  with my friends.”

“buutt…”

“I wasn’t asking your permission little brother. go play with the computer till your heart’s content. I’m going.”

now here I am, and all of my friends are here! CHEERRRSSSS!!! wHOooottt. what a day this will be! and gosh, Chris is now looking my way.should I take this robe off? no? oh yes I will! this bikini is for him, his eyes and his pleasure. sshhhhhh. don’t tell the others yet. I’m going to sleep with him, and just how excited I Am. I can’t wait! he’s coming! he’s coming! oh damn that smile, it never fails to melt my heart. aahhh!! but wait, isn’t that my friend Cathy? why is she running towards me? is she coming to say that our room is ready? oh that good friend of me, I will forever be thankful. 

what??!?! my mother is at the hospital? but why? I picked up all my clothes, changed something decent and  ran as fast  as I could to get myself a taxi. at the hospital, there I saw my mother on the hospital bed, weak and pale. my father was at her bedside, he didn’t say more than, “go home.” I did as I was told this time, but God knows how irritated I am with the show my mama has pulled out. she’s such a walking disaster, a nuisance! arrggh!!!  what’s all these? why are there  food on our table and what’s all these..these…..cakes? OH NO! its my mama’s birthday today! crap! I forgot about it! well, actually I didn’t forget about it. 

“you?! where were  you?” papa asked in a deep voice. 

” I was out pa, with my friends.” 

“friends?!! didn’t your clearly told you to stay at home?!” papa’s now angry, I can see it at his eyes. I stammered, I can’t say anything. I’m not scared of my mama but I’m a chicken to my papa. what?! What did you say papa? all these were for me? its not her birthday? these were all a reward for cleaning the house for one whole week just to get her permission for a night out with friends? but..but why did she collapsed???  WHAAT?? but she still has enough for the week! I closed my eyes, I knew my papa will hit me any minute now. and I know that he will give me the worst punishment ever sentenced to a child…….wait, why is he turning his back? he’s not hitting me nor grounding me? 

“it was mama ate.” my little brother explained.

“she asked papa not to punish you, she said today is a special day because you’ve been so good for the whole week. so we should not punish you nor hurt you. and that you will have your way for today, whatever you will.”

but..but she didn’t agree to let me go out with my friends.

“because she knows that you will sleep with Chris and she was trying to protect you.”

buuutt… 

she loves me. no she doesn’t. she never did. she did. they were all because of her love. 

one day the father lost his 1000php, when he asked his wife if she took it she denied and said that she doesn’t know where it is. the father spent the whole day asking every member in the family about his missing  bill not to retrieve his lost cash but to catch  who the thief was. the father failed to catch whoever it was and decided to just let it pass. 

after a week, the father lost again the same bill and this time he is really  furious to whoever is stealing in his family. the mother then secretly approached their only child and confessed that she took the money and asked her child to confess for her. the child was hesitant knowing that he’ll have to lie to his only father, but since he can’t say no to his mother he agreed eventually. the father was really furious at him that he punished him of losing his allowance for the week! the mother did not stop stealing from her husband and the child continued to cover for her. 

years passed and the child was already at the legal age. he was in college and told her mother that they will have a school trip that will cost 20,000php excluding the personal expenses. the mother  said that  the cost was too expensive for a school trip but the son insisted that he needs to attend such trip. so the mother let her son go, but soon after the son left the mother secretly went to his son’s school to inquire about the said trip. surprisingly the  school denied that such trip was scheduled and that his son hasn’t been paying any of his tuition fees! the mother got angry to his son that when he came home she scolded him saying he is hanging with the wrong friends, but you know what the son said? he said, “I learned this from you, so stop blaming my friends.”

I’ll never forget how it feels to stand in front of a crowd with nothing but my confidence. every part of my body was shivering, and it seems like my heart is about to jump out of my chest. being in a competition without friends is a little sad, because no one is there to cheer and shout my name, but its a little helpful because if they were there my greatest problem would be facing them the next day. when the judge asked me an indecipherable question, for one moment I thought it was the end of it. my dream. if it wasn’t for the host who repeated the quote to me secretly, I would have probably ended up looking dumb. 

there was only one thing in my mind that time, it was that I want to do the farewell walk. i want to deliver a speech just like any other beauty queens I’ve seen on television. I want to walk on the stage without any pressure and yet having all the attention and praise on me and me only. there were only 2 of us left and one of the judges came up to award the 2nd runner up. that means one of us will be crowned that time, I was so nervous I felt like crying. I was praying to God that He will, for once, allow me to do that farewell walk. but then when the judge, she was young and beautiful and a beauty queen as well, walked passed me and whispered me “congrats”, I was lost in my own mind. I don’t know if I it was me or  I just overheard what she said to the other candidate. but when they called my name, I was more than happy. at that moment, I was looking for my father in the middle of the crowd. the lights were on my face I can’t see anyone. but when I turned my head on the side, I saw the best thing on that night. the smile on my father’s face that somehow shows how proud he is of me. that was more than I requested, much more than what I prayed. I’ve never sen him smile to me like that. he was proud. 

and this year I’m passing my crown to another lady who deserves it. my mother once said that every girl dreams to be crowned as a beauty queen, I didn’t believe her then. because being one was never my dream. but the best thing about it is when the people who jeered on me on stage ended up cheering for me. their expressions when I answered the question that no one understood except the judge. they were all praising me. and even though a year has passed and I am about to give my crown to next lady who deserves it, that memory will remain as fresh in my heart. its not being a beauty queen that every girl dreams, but its the praises and recognition that we want. to be a beauty, we need not to walk with sexy clothes but with confidence. charm is deceptive and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.